I've had some down days this week. It's really been a whirlwind. I have thought a lot about how open or not open I want to be in our TTC journey (I really hate the word "journey" sometimes, as it's applied to every single thing in life in peoplespeak). But hey, we've been married just over a year, trying to have a baby, and I'm old.
So I have had blood tests and pills and sonograms and shots, and this month I thought I was pregnant. I even got a positive test. Then a negative test the next day. I thought I was having a chemical pregnancy (very early miscarriage) and was devastated. But the blood test and doctor said I wasn't. I'm still confused about this.
That was all 3 days ago, and I'm just now rebounding from it. My sweet husband has been all kinds of sweet and strong. He came to rehearsal with me last night and just sat and read a book next to me so I could have him there. I love him.
Today I feel much better. I am out to conquer the world, as soon as I get out of bed. I have two sweet doggies next to me. I'm out of school for the summer. Depression isn't hitting me as hard today as it has the past few days. I'm okay with not being pregnant, and I marked this by having a glass of wine last night. I have been cleaning my house and working on a quilt and a few various other projects around the house. Getting to have that little bit of caffeine in the morning feels amazing.
Let's have a good day, okay?
