I am home in Texas.
I feel off. I feel off balance. I feel off kilter.
Usually I know what is wrong and know how to fix it.
This time it doesn't seem like I know where I'm heading. I just feel like I might be about to crash into some dark wall.
I need peace in a bad way. I need to rebalance myself, in a literal way and a spiritual one. I need to know where I'm going. I need to know who is on my team.
It seems like the world is spinning so fast. I've neglected "me" for 2 years. I need to find myself again. I need to find my path. My track. My clan. I need Amy back. I'm hanging off the edge of the cliff here, watching the world spin around me. Going so fast, going like crazy. Politics and religion and wars and words. And hate, always hate.
I've been an escapist as long as I remember. Even now I spend hours on Tumblr looking at pictures of forests and fairies and castles. Add some ambient space music into that and I'm happy for an evening. It's how I get away. I hope to find myself in there somewhere.
My real self is hidden in Christ. I need to find Him.
