World Without End

"I have been dealt a blow, Jane.  Dealt a blow."

Mr. Rochester had many secrets that he kept from Jane.  They eventually came back to haunt him, to ruin their plans for marriage (since he had his wife locked in an upstairs room), and break Jane's heart.  It took her wandering off across the moors, almost dying, setting up life in a new place and starting over, forgiving him somehow, turning down her cousin's (!) offer of marriage, Rochester losing everything and going blind, and her returning, for things to work out.

That's a lot of pain to suffer through for love.
Jane was 18.
Jane had her whole life ahead of her.
But not much because all she wanted to do was fly away and be free.
I cannot imaging how much her wedding being interrupted at the altar must have crushed her.  I cannot imagine taking my next breath.


I have been dealt a blow.
Not quite as bad as Jane's but in the same vein.
I am suffering right now.
I feel like something very precious has been taken away from me.
I am hurting so badly.
I need prayers, please.
I don't have any secrets.  My father has secrets.
My father told him not to marry me.
My father put conditions on me.
My father has cast a shadow over my life, even without being in it.
Here I am, wandering across the moors.
I am the first to admit I need help.


I am holding onto a few things, now:
Faith, my faith in Jesus Christ.  Church attendance.  The sacraments.
Grace.  Hope that God really does love me, somehow.
Hope that there is help.
Hope that my father doesn't have the final say in my happiness.
Jesus.

That's about it.
Please pray for me.